I WANNA ATTEND A GRADUATION CEREMONY.

i wan so badly ):

i have to wait till 4 years later.. geeesh.

feeling super ARGH looking at my bro's graduation photos.

I.AM.SO.JEALOUS.

i wanna wear the graduation gown as well ): sigh.

death..

i've never been able to handle that term very well.

and it is not about a piece of news that i heard today morning at 4am, but it adds to it.

i kept saying that the dark knight left me feeling mentally unstable. but i couldnt really figure out what the real reason behind it was. was it the way they depict how the criminal's mind work? or was it the unexpected twist in the story? i couldnt understand why that person had to die. =/

and then i finally read the book "My sister's keeper" by Jodi Picoult today.. i started reading it since the day i went to indo. which was 2nd july. i dont read it when i am busy having fun or running errands. i read it when i am down or when i have nothing to do. and everytime i thought i knew how the story was going to end. like i said, i thought.

death comes to you when you least expect it.

apart from being unable to stand gory images or sights, the reason why i didnt want to go into medicine was because i dont know how to handle death.

i thought i could prepare myself for it by watching the english drama - House. but the more i watched, the more unrealistic i felt. at first i was turned off by the gory images. yes, he is a good doctor and everything, but not everyone is as lucky as his patients to get a second shot at life. i couldnt stand watching people live on the edge anymore and so i returned to watching my taiwan dramas which always have a happy ending in a less gory way.

sometimes i wish that i wasnt born on this earth so that i dont have to face the end of life.

sometimes i just sit around and do nothing because i like the feeling of constant. that everything and everyone me are still alive and getting on with their lives.

sometimes i look at suki and it hurts to know that she will go before me. or maybe, like the book, i would go before her instead.

not that i mind going first, i'd rather be first than last.

i still remember the last piece of news of death i received, not that it was anyone very close to me, but still someone i know and i cried uncontrollably for a day. it just hit upon me that nothing is constant in this world.

things change and when it involves you, you will hardly feel it.

this beating thing in me is aching, and i sure hope it's because of the ending of the story.

i have been slacking slacking and more slacking.

that is physically.

mentally i am taking too much blows! i'm not complaining that i shouldnt get them, but how do i help others when i cant help myself?

it makes me feel more useless than i already am.

i have to blog!!! but this laptop cannot upload pictures but it is good for typing and the other laptop is mini but it can upload pictures! tedious.

a note to myself about what i should blog:
- travel logs! (taiwan, jakarta, hong kong)
- mcgill send-off
- how much i am in love with ethan ruan.
- how dark knight jumbled up my brain cells.
- how messy my house is.
- how great my friends are! both from singapore and canada(:
- HOW MUCH I MISS CANADA.

i am most probably (99.9%) taking a one-way ticket to montreal on the 22 Aug.
i havent booked though!

cant wait for my mom to come back this friday! then i can stop starving.. it is 7pm now and i havent eaten the whole day!
and i can finally get a new handphone!
book my air ticket!
get me out of this nonsensical slacking.

i think i am having insomia! i can only go to bed earliest at 2am and it always takes me about an hour to fall asleep on the bed. and then i wake up only at 3pm. LOL maybe the last part doesnt sound insomia-ish.

eh. to continue with the previous post.

my mom came to save me at the lan shop! i have never been so glad to see my mom, other than the times when i need her to help me buy some stuffs lar.. hahaha.
i told her about the guy and she told me - i think that guy is married.

WTH.

what's with me and attached guys? if you are attached, stay away from me. and dont be nice to me. i'm extremely vulnerable to that characteristic of guys.

well, one of my good friend once mentioned that guys are nice to you cos they like you. he may be partly right but being nice is a good trait that we shouldnt all doubt right!

i found out today of 2 people whom i dont expect to read my blog to be reading my blog. not that my blog is a huge secret but.. hello! to both of you and all those silent readers who dont show themselves.

anyway, i wanted to blog about my dearest love one from ac. whether i am her girlfriend or not i am not even sure! the 5 of us just keep switching.

just in case i cannot catch you in time before u leave us all..

things about you that i will not forget! :
1. you draw very well and your drawings are often thought provoking!
2. u are always labelled as fat, but i never really thought u were! i am fatter than u!
3. u like to mumble and speak very fast when you are excited!
4. your chinese is goooood
5. you love to watch dramas until very weird timings.
6. you often sprain your ankle
7. i didnt know you in RVHS
8. last but not least, one of the person who helped me survive through ACJC.


i was so shock to hear of your departure from yanwen. yesss, malaysia is just nearby and the other people in singapore can visit u anytime, but me leh!! you forgot about me! heartbroken.

and we havent even gone out on a proper outing the 5 of us! and this sunday u are leaving! argh. i am still pretty sad about it.

in rv.. i never thought that you would be one of the good friends i will make in this lifetime. awww. i sound so sweet! see this proves how much i "ai" you!

in ac.. we skip classes together. or even dont attend school at all together. but i have never met you at the backgate before to climb it together! hahaha.

i cant believe that you are leaving earlier than me. i havent had any good friends leaving for somewhere permanently to study.. and u are the first! now i know what some people had felt when i chose to leave and i didnt felt that it was that difficult cos i would eventually come back and everyone will still be here!

now that you are going off, and i will be going off, who knows when we will meet the next time. =(

all the best for your IELTS and your university life okies =DD

I WILL MISS YOU SIJIE!!

dont be too touched (:

hola to electronic land!

my internet at home was so horrendous that i cannot even access my email and voila i am here at a lan shop. i actually went to walk around my neighbourhood on my own! my mom was quite reluctant at first, she was worried that i would get bullied or abducted or rape! *coughs

with a hair like mine.. i made a huuuuuuge, humongous mistake. i went to highlight my hair BLONDE. what was i thinking seriously?? since i am planning to get this mistake fixed in my favourite salon in canada.. GEEESH. i have to endure for another month

i must say that the internet connection here is waaaaay faster than the one at home. BUT. the guy at the counter is trying to hit on me. yes, even with my hideous hairstyle. and the way he is doing it is freaking irritating me right now. he is messaging me thru the lan server so his message keeps popping out in the middle of whatever i am doing now.

i paid for an hour of usage, so now i am left with 15 minutes. since i've checked my email and facebook.. im here updating my blog and wish that time will go a little bit faster.

YAY!! qianzhi is coming over tomorrow!

okay gotta go!!!!!!!

part of the lyrics from 半情歌 - one of 命中注定我爱你 OST.


你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了
伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格


im not emo-ing lar!!! i am super fine (: i am suuuuper into the drama. I NEED EPISODE 17 NOW.

but have to wait till 12th july before i can watch!

i am going to be MIA-ing to indo from tomorrow!!

qian zhi will join me there from 7th =DD cant wait! i can finally go exploring indo again!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. okay i shall stop procrastinating and start packing my bag.

i'm getting reaaaaaaal good at packing luggages at the last minute.

♀ [ju]liza ariliany liew

20 this year [2009]
28 july 1989

[x]zhangde primary '01
[x]river valley high '05
[x]anglo-chinese junior college '08
[x]columbia international college of Canada '08
[x]McGill '12

rvtt & actt
♥sukiii. & cybi.
Singapore . Indonesia . Canada
♥room 221 + roomies.
♥besties.
Oct♥4.08 [J²]