you know. sometimes i dont know what people are thinking anymore. i cannot differentiate between whats real and fake. and between what i want and what i want to avoid.
i only know that what's true to me isnt very close right now and im letting myself stray away.
hmm. i know its irritating to blog about something that no knows nuts about but.. i realli have to let this thought out! grrr. i feel like strangling someone SOOOOO badly now. but i have attained an amazing level of tolerance and restrain that im near to suffocating myself. geesh.
paul asked me and andy insisted that i have to smoke pot under the bad influence of my peers.. and i said NO! although i didnt know what smoking pot meant until sara told me it meant smoking wheat..
ever since going overseas.. the battle i have here is not to stay away from drugs and sex which most people think that i will definitely get addicted to. its more of the emotional roller coaster rides that i have been thru every semester and i think im starting to have enough of it and i really wanna go back to somewhere familiar with all the "stable" familiar faces.. bleah.
and yet i repeat again.. i dont hate hamilton. i just need a break from it. and if i have to choose a uni because of the environment.. i would rather go into Uni of Toronto where places and people in Hamilton, Waterloo, Guelph will be nearby.. instead of faraway and high ranking mcgill. sheesh.
Friends or name?
see which uni accepts me first lar. lol.
it's really amazing how people change so much in less than 2 months. really really amazing and heartbreaking.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to one and all! LOVE day! spread the love~~ LOL and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMMMMM. dad is lucky to only have to buy 1 present to celebrate 2 occasions! LOL
that was yesterday. i did FREE HUGS for SWAT (Student Working Against Tobacco) and i went to every class to give free hugggggggggs. Some of them rejected my hugs.. awwww. i think they are too much of an introvert. But i received some compliments like I SMELL GOOOOD! hahahaha. but its nice seeing people smile after they received a hug! =D and i hugged people whom i will never get to hug (-chuckles) and i will never even think abt hugging (-uh huh). and i needed my hugs too. valentine's day did not start out that well for me. =(
i had this leftover traumatized feeling from the valentine's day dance i went to on 13th. i'm not complaining abt the set up and the event cos it was GREAT. they invited VJ's from MUCH music (which is equivalent to MTV back at home) and instead of music, we get 2 large screens playing the music videos of every song. =DD i was severely disturbed by the people who were dancing. i had this drunk guy pulling me to the dance floor at the beginning when no one else was dancing! omg the way he danced.. i felt seriously "touched" and he stinks of alcohol (he went clubbing before he came to the dance)!!! and when the dance started.. some random hei ren kept dancing with me. to be more specific, grinding against me. :S UGH. stop poking ur $#%$#^#$%# against me! and i get all this from a school dance where there is NO ALCOHOL allowed and there were police stationed at the entrance.. i swear i will never ever step into a club. Those people were dancing like they were making love on the dance floor. THIS has been the worst time in my whole time in CIC :s even the teachers cld see i was traumatized. i cldnt even tell anyone what was wrong cos i was too.. shocked to speak. :S i went back linden and cried in the tv room cos i didnt feel like seeing anyone and especially not guys. but now im fine so yeah im announcing why i felt so shitty that day. and ive gotten over it. ugh. but dont remind me abt that night! i expected it to be some slow music dance type (yeah, they had 3 romantic songs in that whole 3 hours of dance) and not hip hop songs all the time. GROWL. and i didnt even noe how to dance! luckily i had the indon guys (esp. dolly!) to protect me or i will just die on the spot. :S UUUUUGH. i'll probably have a boring life in uni by not going to club parties but yeah, i rather be cooped up in a room than doing those disgusting stunts on the dance floor. the most i will do is to go to the clubs and sit on the side and stare at those ppl dancing. bad bad day.
nothing special on vday for me. i just went to watch a movie and ate vietnam food! mmmmaahhhh favourite. i'm just feeling so tired from all the prefect work for SWAT this week cos this is the anti-smoking week. oh i am heading the international committee of prefects and ive smartly volunteered to stay in the SWAT committee. i think im the only prefect who has double commitments! but i enjoy working with the SWAT ppl. They are the most hardworking people in the whole prefect team! (ahem. including... hehe) and the international committee... arrgh. im trying to rush out a europe week next week.. but.. HOW! week after week i work and i get white hairs! hahaha. but i think my hair is more damaged by rebonding. im desperately keeping myself busy this semester.. cos i thought i needed it. sorta regretting it now cos i have less time to spend with my friends =( but i'll still try to make the most out of what i decided to initially do. =) this semester has been all prefect work and no studying for me. luckily i'm taking only 3 courses now and they are not too taxing.. wheew. i've got a java program due next tuesday though!
tonight i will be going to valentine's day dinner! =) i think i will be more fun and less sexual than the dance. and the singaporean and malaysian peeps are going! im gng to take this time to get to know them! havent been talking to them for a loooong time.
next monday is a family day holiday! what shld i do during this 3 days break? bahhh
i'll probably put up pictures in the next entry after i get them from david. hahaha.
my lesson is going to end in.. 15 minutes! yes! im typing this during the first period of my lessons! computer science rocks my socks off. LOL
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! no hong baos for me though. SIGH. LOL. my friend had her hong bao COURIERERD over to her!! -hint hint-
i just had my chinese new year dinner at school and the food is not bad, looking at the fact that the chef is an ang moh! =) and the number of people who turned up was not bad too cos we expected to have less people as it was chu yi!
im feeling very frustrated nowadays. i have so many thinks to handle and to think about. not that im complaining and feeling unhappy that i have alot of work.. im happy to do things for the school but im just worried that things would not work out well when done in such a short period of time! argh.
moreover.. ALL THE PAIN IN THE NECK SNOW DAYS. okay. im weird. everyone is praying for snow days so that they dont have to go to school.. but i pray otherwise. i still have to plan treasure hunt for anti-smoking week.. do v-day gifts.. and plan things to recognize international holidays and these has been postponed for days due to the weather. in 1 week we have 2 snow days! okay 1 and a half. we were sent back to our residence halfway from school yesterday. cool eh. pun intended.
i have been giving in alot these few days to alot of people and some of them choose to trample over my head. but i realli cant blame them, i cant be firm with my friends. i dont know why either. lolx. sometimes when i wanna get angry, i just have to ren. and im getting real good at it.. the problem is i cant put my unhappiness across to friends nicely. i have difficulty controlling my tone. so i choose to ignore most of the time. lolx. better to say nothing then to say something hurting. BLAH. im just a coward and a hypocrite.
and on a random note, this is me and crystal. i wore that on pyjamas day! well, i really wear that to sleep! with that big doggie accompanying me every night. LOL.
OUUUUUCh. my joints, thighs and arms hurt.
i was awoken at 9.15am cos some friend of mine wanted to eat breakfast at mac -_- the egg mcmuffin was.. pathetically small. growl. and i wasnt even sure the bacon inside was pork or not.. cos sg's are all halal right! so i ate half of it and threw the other half away. LOL im a good muslim. =x
after which i went to company my friend play basketball until 1.30pm and then i went to the gym till 4pm. 4hrs at YMCA! that explains the first sentence..
i pray i burn off enough fats before i return to sg. before everyone laughs at me for being fat again -_- especially my dear mom and dad. LOL
THE EYE was bad. my eyes were open like 95% of the time! Jessica alba was hot nevertheless.. the ghost were not even scary looking!
some snow day pictures =) i keep forgetting that today is friday! cos i was suppose to have school... LOL. tmr i am going to gym in the morning!
monday will be snowing as well but only 1mm thick of snow -_- today was about 20 cm! my boots got wet walking around..
WHEEE. snow day! do u sense the excitement in me???
okay. so.. we woke up at 6.30am.. praying and praying for the hallmistress to announce that school was closed for today.. i wasnt realli doing that, i was more of irritated that i have to stay awake at 6.30am not doing anything but wait. WELL, it was already snowing outside! our balcony was filled with snoooooow. and it was a mini snowstorm outside.. hahah. after waiting for 15 minutes and debating with my roommates whether school will be closed or not.. "..i've called the school, and they have decided to close the school for today. so girls, all of you may go to sleep again."
ole~~ LOL. i was awoken by my dear friend who called me at 10.30am and went "juuu.. are u awake? where do u wan to go today..? lets watch THE EYE!".. -_- this friend of mine waited till 3am today morning to await the snowstorm.. but he didnt even see a speck of snow so he disappointedly went to bed and woke up to find snow! the wonders of canada.. and staying in a hostel.. mwhaha.
so,.. im going to trudge in the snow today to eat sapporo buffet again (i ate there 2 days ago!) and watch movie.. and go shopping!
WHEE. snow day..
its FIRST of FEB today! i wish i can sleep through 14 Feb. its so irritating to see that the shops are all prepared to bombard couples with their presents.. hearts, chocolates.. RED. WIAO.
to zixuan and maurice : we shld definitely switch places. i will be spending v-day with a building of single girls! teehee
-prays for snow day- or maybe not..
the teachers have been spreading around and apparently praying for snow day tmr.. meaning to have 15-20cm of snow on the ground when we wake up in the morning and.. school will be closed! how i wish eh. the only time that has happened in singapore was for SARS. and it was quite boring to not b able to go out..it's friday tmr!
i just came back from shopping with the leaders in charge of the chinese new year dinner.. and.. I BOUGHT A DRESS! my mom is oooohhhh soooo gonna kill me if she sees it, cos i have one similar one in singapore which i didnt bring over.. =X oh well. i love the colour. i'll take pictures of it during the dinner which is next wednesday. WIAO. no hong bao this year. MUMMY IF U READING THIS, PLEASE MAIL MY HONG BAOS OVER! and any other kind souls who want to do so too =)
and as i promised, a slideshow of the photos on wacky day! plus "snowy" effects to help encourage snow tmr.. dont say i didnt help to pray for snow! guess what i dressed up as -_- WIAO. i wasn't handsome enough.. dont i look like vaness wu? well, i did have many girlfriends that day.. my photos are quite limited, i need to go "PHOTOHUNTING"!
most of the people in the pics are guys, cos my close girl friends werent very on about wacky dressing except sara and a few but i dont have those pics!! argh! i'll probably upload it next time.. plus the pyjama day pictures! i wouldnt go near the "siao siao" mexicans and russians who dressed REAL wackily...
GIVE ME SOME IDEAS! tmr, if there is no snow day n we still have to go to school, is CELEBRITY day! we can dress up as a celebrity or a sportsperson.. who should i dress up as? as myself? =D
and guess what. ITS 31st JANUARY already. a month has passed since new year.. duh -_- wow. hahah. i have 4 more months to go... and that doesnt realli sound alot. i still hate the fact that i wont be attending my graduation ceremony.. well at least i will be attending the dinner and dance.. but, i havent properly graduate from pre-u yet! i wan my graduation robe and hat, although they arent very pretty =(
i must make the most out of my last teen year..