Wednesday, August 23, 2006
i hate my character.
i hate my life.
i hate crying.
its the reason why im so darn tired these days.
juliza ranted @8/23/2006 11:21:00 PM;
1. Waking up late due to screwed up alarm clock.
2. Chemistry test was sadistic.
3. The weather was so humid and hot.
4. I suck at bowling. hai. But bowling still beats table tennis and co.
i'm thinking of cooking now.. but i dont know how. anyone care to teach me? i wan to eat baked rice.. yum yum.
im so very hungry now. lonely walk home just now, and an empty stomach now.
i probably deserve it.
tomorrow's a long day........
day......
day...
juliza ranted @8/23/2006 08:08:00 PM;
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Or
am i?
i'm
suppose to i guess. Firstly, i have 2 CCAs - table tennis and CO. I used to think that going for table tennis was a
drag.. doing the same thing for 5 years.. -_- but CO is worst now. its not about the people in my section, its just the general atmosphere. I really wish to be able to perform on the stage again but if i'm going to dread every practice or combine, is it worth it?
Secondly, I've gotten through the 2nd round of interview for OCIP to.. guess where.
CHINA. yes. the LAST place i will go visit for fun. but being able to go overseas.. anywhere is fine for me. they say we'll be busy preparing for the trip there, for example planning lessons. I'm gonna be a teacher to a class of 50 students! Will they think i'm there to teach them how to make bomb...? Hmm. =x Maybe i will be interested in having teaching as a career. And be like her
TOO..?
Recently been making "racist" jokes against myself, i derno why. Maybe i've gotten used to the insensitive culture in the school. -shrugs-
Lastly, or maybe not, there's also the presence of every J1's common enemy, PW. Actually, i feel that my group is quite okay. Just that our written report which is due in
5 days time, is only
halfway through..
don't i sound busy busy? i still feel very kong xian. i dont know is boredom or fatigue, cos everything seems so repetitive.
and i think my character sux. I feel that i have this split character. i know that im doing or saying all the
wrong things. but in ac, my
selfish and
mean character is very dominant. last time in rv, i had difficulty being nice upfront and giving out compliments, its not because i dun wan but i just dont know how. then i realise from my entry to my classmates in vj.. i sound so different. i felt like i was reading some else's blog.
i've decided. to be nicer and more tolerant. and im going to delete all the negative thoughts i have of others from my mind. since i can stop spouting vulgarities, i can do this =)
but i dont think i can curb my frustrations.
anyway, i finally have a goal in life. I want to be a
veterinarian. i want to go university of melbourne cause the pace of life is slow there.. unlike singapore, where its too comfortable that people got nothing to worry about except competing among one another.
but my dad wans me to go UK if i'm able to. but what about terrorists? what if i suffer from racial discrimination? afterall, im sort of treated differently in singapore already.
its so hard to make people understand the difference between
malay and
indonesian.
nvm, im not unwanted -beams- LOL
okay, i've finally decide to study chemistry. go go!!
i'm talking to myself again.. btw, last thing i promise to not procrastinate, i recently bought a book to keep track of my homework and to motivate myself by.. talking to myself. its like a conversation between mean ju and nice ju. between troubled ju and calm ju. between the jews.. ahem the JUs!
okay goodnite.
[ju]
juliza ranted @8/22/2006 10:33:00 PM;